Denby Provides Advice

On a daily basis I will suffer with a surge of depression. What I mean by this is that I will randomly get seriously depressed and begin to have suicidal thoughts. What I want to discuss is how to manage through these surges. They're really hard to describe and there is probably a correct name for them but Denby obviously doesn't know that word. But, hopefully, you should understand what I am talking about. 

Now, when you begin to feel rather depressed. Don't sit and think about it. This is the worst thing you could ever do, (as I know from past experiences). Sitting down and just thinking about your feelings and emotions, for me, makes the situation 10x worse and make you feel even more depressed. This ain't good. What you need to do is get up and do something. Whether it is re-organizing your bedroom or creating a doodle. Just do something besides from sitting down and thinking. 

What I usually do if I feel a little bit down is listen to music. Music is my remedy for everything! Although music can have a bad effect on me as some genre of music can make me cry for a week, but overall, music is my life. I don't think I would be able to survive one day without music. Going back to the point, when you feel down but on some funky 80's music because that always cheers people up and if it doesn't cheer you up, then I don't know what will. Here is a list of the songs which always puts me in a rebellious/good mood: 

• Pink - Raise Your Glass - Pink is probably my favorite female artist as her lyrics have so much meaning to them and to me, I can relate to the majority of her songs. 
• Fall Out Boy - 20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy are my all time favorite band and frankly, this song is upbeat and Patrick Stump's voice never fails to cheer me up. 
• Cherry Bomb - The Runaways - Not many people may like this but this is the song for the ones who want to feel very rebellious. When I say rebellious, I mean, rebellious. 
• Jackson 5 - I want You Back - If this song doesn't cheer you up. You have issues because this song is simply, AMAZING. 
• James Blunt - I'll be Your Man - His voice is like an angel's and this song is just lovely.

I could literally go on forever recommending songs but I have to restrict myself because today's topic is not music. (This has given me an idea for my next post). 

Anyway, when you're feeling down, go outside. The fresh air is perfect for anyone. Take a long, peaceful, stroll in your local area. Or go exploring. I love to explore. Go somewhere where you have never been before and admire it. This will be good with music, just saying. 

The final thing I am going to suggest doing is, talk to someone. Never make yourself be alone because separating yourself from the world is defiantly the worst thing you could possibly do! In this world, there are plenty of people who care about you so much! Whether they're family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, just remember, people are there for you! Never feel like you are pestering someone because you're not! You're never alone in this world so don't think you are! Being lonely is probably one of the hardest things to live with. But being lonely is usually down to your own doing. You're only lonely if you make yourself lonely. So, when you begin to feel depressed and really down, get on your phone, go on your contacts and find the most closest person on there and talk to them. Same with social media sites, for example Facebook. Go on Facebook, look at your friends and message your best friend or someone you are really close too. You don't have to say that you're feeling down, just talk to them. This will make you feel so much better and I mean it! Instead of looking up depressing things on the internet, or thinking horrible thoughts. Always talk to someone! 

Now, I understand there is probably a lot of grammar errors but as long as you get the point I am trying to make, I don't really care, Now, see ya' later alligator! *Denby Salute* 

"Butterflies cannot see their wings. But the rest of the world can." 

This is probably one of the most meaningful quotes I have ever read. It means so much to me because it is true. You may see yourself as 'ugly' 

                                                            'fat'

                                                               'horrible' 

                                                                       'bitch'

                                                                                and many more but to others, you're beautiful,  

                                                                                 perfect, amazing, outstanding, spectacular,                                                                                               talented and most of all...

                                                                

                                              meaningful. 

You mean something to someone Whether it's your family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend or even that stranger you smiled at earlier on. You mean something to them. You mean something to everyone. You just don't know it. Always remember, there are people in the world who care about you. 

They're 7.125 billion people in this world.

You're one of them. 

Be proud of that. 

You're part of a community which is full of individual's who all have their own meaning. 

You were brought into this world for a meaning, despite what others say. One day you're going to change the world and make a difference. Don't let anyone tell you different! 

Never Give Up

Giving up is the one thing I use to be extremely good at. But then I began to realize, giving up gets you no where in life. If you give up, it makes you feel like nothing. You get a sudden feeling of self doubt and that you can't do anything when actually, you can! Anyone can accomplish anything but the only thing which is stopping you from accomplishing anything is yourself! You can run a marathon. You can create a spectacular piece of art. You can get all your coursework done even if your deadline is next week. You can do anything!
What I am trying to say is, don't give up! Don't stop what you're trying to accomplish until you have accomplished it. For example, if you're painting a picture. Don't stop half way and look at that painting and say to yourself "it's rubbish" and then give up and scrap the painting because, darling, it isn't finished! You haven't accomplished your goal which was to paint this picture. You can't judge your painting when it is only half way done. You have to paint the full picture! You have to finish what you started! (Awful example, but I tried).
It takes me so much strength to not give up! I want to give up all the time but I force myself not too! I will push myself until I am in agony just so I can achieve my own personal goals! Having many physical body problems I find it difficult to complete day to day activities and having anxiety and other issues like that does not help matters! But I can't use those as an excuse anymore! So what if I have one functioning lung, I can still breathe? I have inflammatory in the majority of the joints in my legs, I can still walk? Nothing will stop me! If you tell me I cannot do something I will instinctively do whatever it takes to prove you wrong because I can do anything and no one can tell me I can't do something when I know I can!
But, the one thing you always have to remember is that, it takes time! You can't just accomplish something instantly. It takes time and effort. Sometimes it takes more effort than others. But still, you can do it! Never let someone tell you that you can't do something! Never let someone make you feel like dirt. Never let someone sweep you under the carpet. Never let someone's negativity get to your positivism!

Never Give Up.

I am. Depression.

Depression is probably one of the hardest things to live with. One minute you will be happy and feeling great and the next minute you want to kill yourself. It's a horrible feeling. 

Sitting down and you know you have so much to do but you can't do it. You have no motivation or energy to do anything. You don't want to do anything. 

You want to go out with your friends but then you think about everything bad they have done to you and you get really angry with them. Then you get angry at yourself. Then you end up staying at home. Laid across your bed. Wondering why you are still in this world if everyone hates you and you hate them. 

You don't want to go anywhere. You just want to be at home and do nothing. Be nothing. Then you get days were you force yourself to get out. Those days are frankly the worst because you know you don't want to be out and then you get wound up and it's awful. 

Seeing yourself in a reflection and reality hits you. You realize how ugly and fat you are. You realize how disgusting you are. You then go home and cry and never make an effort on your appearance. Now that is probably the worst part. 

The reason I am talking about this is because this week has been my boiling point. I have reached the point were I just don't want to be here...at all. But. I am going to be happy. I am going to walk out my door in approximately 30 minutes and be the new Sammy Denby. 

I have said I am going to start fresh so many times but today I actually mean that! Scarring your body is pointless, it isn't going to help it just leaves scars which cause attention and I hate attention. Being sad and upset is pointless because you only live once and what is the point of being sad when you are only on this planet once right? Whats the point of ending your life now when it's going to end some time in the future AFTER you have been on many ludicrous adventures?  This is what I am going to keep telling myself every time I get surges of major depression. Because, I am sick of it. I want to be happy. I want to feel what everyone else feels. 

I want to have a smile on my face and I want it to have a meaning. 

I want to walk out my door with that smile on my face. 

I want to go out with my friends wanting to actually be there, still with that smile on my face. 

I want to sit down at the table on an evening and have meals with my amazing family with that smile even bigger than before. 

I want to be able to do all this. And you know what. I am going to do this! 

Because I am Sammy Denby. I am the girl who cares for everyone. I am the girl who gets her work done with no excuses. I am that girl who lives life with a smile. A meaningful smile. 

I am. Sammy Denby.

Punctuation

Punctuation confuses the hell out of me. The only thing I know how to use properly is a full stop. (Or period if you happen to be America). Oh, and I kind of know how to use a comma. Kind of. 

One of my many life goals is to understand punctuation properly. I can use apostrophe's and what not. But the main problem I have is the semi colon. Like, when are you supposed to use it? I know it is a replacement for a connective, (you may have to correct me on that one), but yeah, why can't you just use a connective? It would make like a lot easier. 

urgh lyfe iz meh

Well. The past couple of days of my life have been stressful, confusing, emotional and of course, exhausting. My life has been a roller coaster and it has only been going down. Not up. Apart from when I was with him. (reference to one of my earliest posts). Anyway. My life has been so messed up lately, I still have no clue what to do. But I am going to begin handwriting in my diary and I might even start using this as a diary or a way to relieve myself from any issues which have been bothering me. I love writing on here but the only problem I have is time. I waste so much time being ill and tired and being so fed up with the world that I forgot to write on here and if I do have time I don't know what to write about. But I am going to try my best and keep this is as updated as possible! 

I guess I am what you call a problem child but the only thing is I am a 'teenager' so technically I am a problem teenager.

Okay, swift exit. 

I tried

'I tried' is literally my new saying. If I do something and I fail at it I simply say 'I tried'. It isn't really a good thing but it is such a force of habit, I can't stop saying it. Anyway, I finally got a small camera and I have finally been able to take awesome/decent photos. The outcome of my recent photos is amazing. I am in love...with a camera...yup....I'm crazy. 

This is just a picture I took earlier today. But look at the quality of it. I am seriously in love with a camera. I was born to take photos of random stuff in high quality. 

Okay, apart from my 'photography', I am having EMOtional problems. I am constantly emotional. Like, I will cry randomly for no reason. Something is wrong with me lately and I don't know what it is. *Crying with laughter emoji* 

Photography

Hello fellow readers. Today I believe I am going to write about photography and how much I love to take photos of random stuff which to me have a million meanings but to you may not.
(Unless you have a magical mind like myself and you can see what I can see which a lot of people do because the universe is made up of magic).
I sadly don't have a camera but currently in the process of getting one meaning the only way I am able to capture mind boggling photos was by using my phone's 5mp camera. Not the best of things but I am rather surprised to what it has been able to pick up, (quality wise).
Anyway, I don't actually know what I find rather interesting about taking photos. I just think they are amazing. To me the best camera is your mind. It saves all your memories and spectacular images but when you take a physical picture it allows you to physically re-live moments and memories whether they are good or bad.
I have to make sure a picture is perfect but the main issue I have is that my 'camera' cannot pick up the quality I can see with my eyes. I try to be a perfectionist as I do personally think I have some form of OCD. But that is another story which can be saved for another day.

I really want to go on a big rampage about photos but I am currently way too tired. Life tip - don't drink tea before you go to bed. Your energy levels shoot right up but then get knocked right back down. Not good. However, I would like to leave you with a link to my 'magical' Pinterest account/board. I have uploaded 1/4 of my own photos to it and some of them do look rather 'cool' as you may say.

https://www.pinterest.com/thatdenbykid/photos/

Denby Returns

I am back. From nowhere. 

I have returned to the Shire from Hogwarts because why not.

I don't know what I am on about. I am highly tired.

Anyway, I have decided to invest in a camera and I am going to start creating/editing videos and also take amazing photographs/ I love cameras and videos and stuff and thought I might as well use my talent as a decent hobby which I could get paid for. 

I seriously don't know what I am on about. 

i am the reason why every human being needs a decent amount of sleep because without sleep, you are dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomed.

I would write a long and wonderful essay about how peculiar my life is but I happen to be nodding off as I quickly tap away on my keyboard. This is where I depart and say goodnight because I am exhausted. 

Goodnight my fellow amigos, sorry for not posting hardly any stuff on here for a while. I live a rather busy life...